The hardest part of traveling solo… it isn’t what you think it is

I’m an avid believer in solo journeys. You can read all the amazing things about it in a previous blog here. What I didn’t mention was the most difficult part, at least for me. The hardest part of traveling solo isn’t what you would initially assume it to be. It’s not having to plan, it’s not finding yourself to be alone, and it’s not getting lost. You will work those things out. In fact, you will probably start alone and make plans but cancel them because you met some amazing people who you would alter your plans for. If you are an expert traveler, you would know better not to make concrete plans and book too much ahead of time because they don’t always pan out anyways. And the best journies are the least expected.

It didn’t take much convincing of one another to drive up to Byron Bay and stay a few days since we really didn’t want to separate. It was amazing. Australia is a great place but it’s who you share the journey with that makes the biggest difference. You get to know the person, their family, their likes and dislikes, their favorite music.  You’re with them day and night.  You create inside jokes, you play games, drink, dance, and laugh. You study their manuerisms and enjoy their facial expressions and make each other laugh just like you do with your friends at home.

So what is difficult about traveling solo? Well when you travel solo, you can meet any number of people. A few trips, I have met a group of friends who had adopted me into their little circle. It’s unbelievable sometimes how quickly you can just click with people and feel like you’ve known them for years and really it’s only been a matter of days.

This last trip to Australia, I met 3 other solo travelers all from different countries and we just clicked. In less than a week, we had already gotten to love each others quirky personalities and become attached to one another. It was as if we had been friends forever and had planned this journey together.  It’s so crazy and amazing how four people growing up in different cultures, separate parts of the world, and having different paths of life can just meet and click like that. We met at a hostel my first night there, hung out a few nights in Sydney, then decided to head up the coast on a road trip to Byron Bay. Everyone had cancelled their original plans. Two were supposed to head to Melbourne which was the entirely opposite direction. One had a bus ticket to go up the east coast which ended up being a waste of money since we took a car.  I planned on flying but luckily I never book anything early as I’ve learned that plans can change.  And they did.

We had our favorite song that we would repeat and sing over and over. We had inside jokes that lasted throughout the trip.  We teased each other, played drinking games, debated, talked about our lives, families, and future plans. We weren’t with each other long enough to get on each others nerves, argue, or have bad vibes. So we are stuck with just these fantastic memories of one another and all this love. 

Eventually, someone’s journey comes to an end or continues on elsewhere and you have to separate.  This is the hardest part. When you travel with your friends from your country, you get to go home with them and continue laughing and reliving the trip forever.  When you separate from people of other countries, you don’t know when you will see them again. You can’t guarantee it no matter how genuine your intentions are and how much you promise to keep in touch because you live different lives. 

Saying goodbye is the toughest part. You give them a hug, kiss on the cheek, and study their face one last time. I can never look them in the eyes before I leave because I know I will just start crying. I’ve been through this a few times and it hasn’t gotten any easier. At first you continue texting and joking with each other.  You update each other on your life and if something reminds you of them, you message them again.  This gets more and more sparse over time. You never forget them of course. Thankfully, social media keeps you in touch.  Being through this a few times is what I feel is the hardest part of traveling solo. You do come home alone but you have befriended amazing people and created unique memories.  It’s the best and the worst part. Bitter sweet.